Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Fears - Part 2

Ok, I know your all dying to read part two. (Not like anyone reads this, right? :P) So after I realized what my dreams were, it felt like I could actually achieve them. Once in a while I'll ask myself "What did you do today to get closer to your goals?" Everyday matters if you want to get where you're going. I felt very motivated by the end of the class. I wanted to get a job, I wanted finish my homework, I just wanted to do something. Still, every once in a while I feel myself start to slip, I procrastinate. Which I should warn you does NOT work for homeschooling. Bad idea. Homeschooling + Procrastination= A very bad mix of a large dose of homework that still needs to be done and a feeling of not being content - ever. My fear also plays a big part in it all. I don't want to get a job for the fear of messing up. I don't even go into stores alone never mind work there. I know, I'm a wuss . I am afraid of driving, but I think it's a psychological fear. Once I'm actually behind the wheel I think I'll be ok. College scares me too. I am NOT ready (possibly ever) ready to move out of my house. My drafty, old, sagging, leaking thing of a house, I do not want to leave it. Even though I know I'll probably love college.
Now that I think about it, it's ALL ginormous different psychological fears mixing in a huge pot of evil and doubt. It just needs to go.

F - False
E - Expectations
A - Appearing
R - Real
- Zig Zigler

I know one day I'll overcome my fears (sooner than I'd like, which scares me even more) since most of them are kind of mandatory for adulthood survival, lol. But I tell you it's also this evil stage of wanting to be treated like an adult while still being the 'little girl' of the family. I turned 17 a few days ago. I'm not ready for 17. I don't think anyone else was either. But it's here, and it came. Seventeen still sounds old to me...weird.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Dreams - Part 1

So, here I am staring at my computer trying to figure out what I learned from LifeWoRx by Design. I guess I should probably tell you what it is. It's a seminar of how to design and really live the life of your dreams. Sounds epic, doesn't it?
For most people it is. You'd never thought you'd have a breakthrough being in a cramped room on the third floor of a Hampton beach hotel. I didn't exactly have a breakthrough but I could tell some of the other people had. All seventeen of us stayed in that room (with occasional snack breaks) for about 11 hours receiving and processing information at lightning speed. Seriously, my head hurt after the first few hours from thinking. And yes, thinking, I learned about that too. Your brain doesn't actually think most of the time, it just has thoughts. Anyway, I learned what some of my goals were, what fear actually was, the difference between intentions and commitment, belief in yourself, and how to gain financial freedom and independence (those are two different things. Money is one subject I still know nothing about.)
I learned that if you keep doing what you've been doing, you keep getting what you've been getting. So for things to change, you must change. True story. In fact, when you change and try to build the life of your dreams, you will run into challenges. Don Cote (the teacher) said you should even try to look for those challenges, most likely those challenges will come to you. Ya, right. Look for challenges? Like I need more of those. But if you are committed to getting your dream life, I bet it's worth it. Especially when you can visualize your dream.
We did an exercise where we tried to imagine the most perfect, dream life. And wrote it all down. All of it. Every detail, anything that you've ever wanted to do, anywhere that you've wanted to live, what car you had, what your house looks like, what you've done, who you've helped, and what your purpose was. There was a kind of relief after that exercise, getting it all down on paper. I realized during this whole learning process of how to live the dream of your life that I didn't really have belief in myself. I can always tell myself you can do it! but there's always a deeper voice saying are you sure? can you do it? is this what you want? there are probably people out there who can do it better...and so on. Don Cote taught us, "If you don't know what you're looking for you'll probably never find it." Awesome! I gotta find what I'm looking for! and that's what we did for that exercise.
"We are not given a dream unless we are given the capacity to achive it. "