Monday, July 20, 2009

The Box


Hey! I am back from NTS Camp; it was awesome. The theme this year was living outside "the Box." I guess the "Box" is different for everyone. My box is a combination of things. I think I view myself as a shy, insecure, not-so-smart person and because I believe that about myself it, in a way, has become somewhat true. Also factoring in what others view me as or have said about me. Sometimes I wonder why people think I'm "cool" or "funny"or "pretty". Probably because the people who know the real me, I tend to erase the 12-year-old image of myself..the person I was in 6th grade has shaped me and I've put a distorted image on myself than who I really am. Sixth grade was full of embarrassing moments and misunderstandings. When 7th grade came around I became homeschooled and pulled away from public school with that image fixated in my head as a geek and it never really changed because I didn't have a next year to redeem myself or grow with the people who thought I was dorky. So, really it's me who's holding myself back, hiding, not connecting with others as easily, not living to my fullest potential. And I've learned shyness is a form of selfishness in order to be viewed perfect, and we all know no one is perfect. I truly want to start living outside my box and not be driven by my own fears, but by God. And thanks for reading, I just needed to get my thoughts down.
Lauryn
The old life is gone, a new life begins. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

6 comments:

Michael Ortlieb said...

Well, I have always loved what I have seen on the outside of the box; it's very pretty, nice wrapping paper, and pretty bows. I can't wait to see what's on the inside as you reveal more of yourself.

Susan said...

Sounds like a great experience at camp and a lot of great learning... God revealed a lot to you, and well done you for grasping it well and being willing to receive it. Demonstrating a ton of maturity and insightfulness there!
You go girl.
I'd say you have a lot to feel good about. Not the least being your photographic and artistic abilities, which I appreciate seeing here :)
Blessings, Susan

Lauryn said...

Thanks Susan! I have definitely learned a lot, especially in the past year. And I hope to post more photos soon! :)

peeseofGodspuzzel said...

I had an awesome time at camp with you Lauryn! I really hope you're going next year!
~Jord

Unknown said...

I, for one, am currently reeling from the shocking announcement that you aren't perfect. That's it. I'm never speaking to you again. Sigh... what's the camp called again, "never the same?" Did your parents know you would come back unperfect? Wow...I bet they regret that investment! LOL

I ADORE YOU - IMPERFECTIONS AND ALL!

Lauryn said...

haha, thanks guys!