What Would Martha Do?

What is it about the human condition that it's only when we come to our wit's end about something is when we actually do something about it? This week I've admitted to having the "House Blues" - you know, that state of living when you wish you put your house on the market "as is" with everything still in it so you can just walk away scot-free? I would love someone else to come in on a regular basis and clean my house (what do they call those people? Oh, right, maids...), but it goes beyond that now. I've come to a startling realization actually: I can be as creative, organized and systematically clean as the next Martha Stewart (ok, I may be stretching that a bit), but my children are no mini-Marthas. In fact, I believe if you were to look "children" up in the dictionary, the definition would read something like, "little whirlwinds of destruction and chaos." Anyone remember a character by the name of Taz in Bugs Bunny cartoons? Ok, well the real definition is "a person between birth and full growth." Hmmmm...why does that sound like a lot of us? Anyway, I think that defines them perfectly! So no matter what the state of my house soon after a thorough cleaning and organization spree, it is dirty and unkempt ten minutes later. I have thrown up my hands, retreated into a state of denial and ended up living as much as possible in the cleanest corner of my house just for peace and sanity's sake. After living like this for a couple of weeks or so (you can only go so long like this before needing some heavy duty sedatives to continue the denial), I've come to another realization. Simplicity is best. Ok, I actually knew that before, but simplicity in this case means getting rid of stuff - lots of stuff! Mainly toys at this junction as it is my biggest nuisance. If we're not crunching something under our bare feet or vacuuming something up, the visual clutter it creates is enough to start looking for some Paxil (no, I don't have any, but it doesn't keep me from looking sometimes). So this week has been major clean-up week. The boys don't yet know that all the toys they see in boxes and bags are not actually staying in the house, but they do know something is afoot (no pun intended). And after explaining where these toys will end up (in other deserving children's arms), I don't think they'll mind too much (or at least for very long). And peace and sanity can once again reside in the Ortlieb home.